Because his voice touches me like his hands.
And his hands touch me like magic.
And them both run on me like the most incredible fable ever told.
Because I love him.
Period.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
About how alive I am when we are
I want your lips, your hands, a little of - your soul, the passion, blueberries and a straw, the smell of the things I think represent home, mixed colors, movement, loud music in the bedroom, clouds in the ceiling. A hot bath. The urgency of us. I want to polish my nails. Improve my language skills. I want to snap my fingers and dream. But before I do that, take a black and white picture of me. Blow me away with a surprise. hang my picture in the living room and always remember how alive I was.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
About the New Year
2008 was a paradoxical year.
It brought me a lot of pain and a lot of joy. I’ve met interesting and amazing people and not-so interesting and amazing people. I’ve done things that I’ve always wanted to do and things that I thought I could never do. I’ve written beautiful posts and I thought about a lot of things that I wanted to forget. I’ve accomplished some of my goals, but also understood that I have to review some of my other objectives.
I’ve suffered a lot. At some point, I thought I had lost my mind. I have felt very intensely in 2008. I’ve felt the pain of real lost for the first time. I understood Shakespeare a little better. I saw the sunrise at the beach by myself. I started exercising more. I helped people achieve their dreams. I was in the newspaper. I cooked for someone wearing a Chinese dress. I painted my place with the colors I wanted and I’ve gotten my blue room. I saw my best friend get her citizenship.
I fell in and out of love. I admired new artists. I was inspired by their music and their work. I read poetry. I exchanged amazing e-mails. I got furious. I found out I am stronger than I thought. I had the amazing feeling of getting a Christmas kiss from the guy I love. I've enjoyed the summer for the first time since I got here. I took care of myself and so far I'm a winner. I grew older. I cried and I thought the pain was unbearable. I complained to a God I don't even believe in. I got amazing gifts from people who care about me in different ways. I’ve made new friends. I let people go. I bought beautiful shoes. I read what has become my favorite book. I took amazing pictures of myself and people I love. I took pictures of birds. I danced non-stop. I went to the most amazing party. I made new mistakes.
I have tried to forgive my dad. I missed my mom. I called my brother a couple of times. I wished I could have called my mom. I had revealing dreams. I wore my most beautiful dresses in 2008. I’ve eaten my favorite foods. I went for walks on the beach by myself. I turned 23. I got myself a music box. I got my first garter belt and wore my first fishnet stockings. I celebrated my broken heart.
It brought me a lot of pain and a lot of joy. I’ve met interesting and amazing people and not-so interesting and amazing people. I’ve done things that I’ve always wanted to do and things that I thought I could never do. I’ve written beautiful posts and I thought about a lot of things that I wanted to forget. I’ve accomplished some of my goals, but also understood that I have to review some of my other objectives.
I’ve suffered a lot. At some point, I thought I had lost my mind. I have felt very intensely in 2008. I’ve felt the pain of real lost for the first time. I understood Shakespeare a little better. I saw the sunrise at the beach by myself. I started exercising more. I helped people achieve their dreams. I was in the newspaper. I cooked for someone wearing a Chinese dress. I painted my place with the colors I wanted and I’ve gotten my blue room. I saw my best friend get her citizenship.
I fell in and out of love. I admired new artists. I was inspired by their music and their work. I read poetry. I exchanged amazing e-mails. I got furious. I found out I am stronger than I thought. I had the amazing feeling of getting a Christmas kiss from the guy I love. I've enjoyed the summer for the first time since I got here. I took care of myself and so far I'm a winner. I grew older. I cried and I thought the pain was unbearable. I complained to a God I don't even believe in. I got amazing gifts from people who care about me in different ways. I’ve made new friends. I let people go. I bought beautiful shoes. I read what has become my favorite book. I took amazing pictures of myself and people I love. I took pictures of birds. I danced non-stop. I went to the most amazing party. I made new mistakes.
I have tried to forgive my dad. I missed my mom. I called my brother a couple of times. I wished I could have called my mom. I had revealing dreams. I wore my most beautiful dresses in 2008. I’ve eaten my favorite foods. I went for walks on the beach by myself. I turned 23. I got myself a music box. I got my first garter belt and wore my first fishnet stockings. I celebrated my broken heart.
I spent time with my best friend’s mom and it was great to get to know her. I became an imaginary friend. I lent my apartment to my best friend. I had my friends over for dinner. I got new clothes and felt sexy. I slept early. I woke up exhausted. I celebrated Christmas at my place.
I missed you. I had ice cream at the beach. I learned I can swim. I changed my hair style several times. I learned new makeup tricks. I got the most beautiful red gloss ever. I learned that I have to follow my intuition. I sang at the top of my lungs. I danced in the supermarket and on the street. I looked for help. I worked less. I understood that not everything’s my fault, but that I decide what's best for me. I went to two amazing concerts. I thought of my mom a great deal and how much I wanted her to be there with me.
I broke things. I got them fixed. I hurt people and they hurt me. There were days that I wished I were somewhere else. There were days that I could smell the busy streets of my hometown and I wanted to visit my old house. I planned a trip that was cancelled. I invented new words. I got confused. I wrote an essay, but I didn’t finish it. I prayed and there was someone listening to me.
I am ready for 2009.
I missed you. I had ice cream at the beach. I learned I can swim. I changed my hair style several times. I learned new makeup tricks. I got the most beautiful red gloss ever. I learned that I have to follow my intuition. I sang at the top of my lungs. I danced in the supermarket and on the street. I looked for help. I worked less. I understood that not everything’s my fault, but that I decide what's best for me. I went to two amazing concerts. I thought of my mom a great deal and how much I wanted her to be there with me.
I broke things. I got them fixed. I hurt people and they hurt me. There were days that I wished I were somewhere else. There were days that I could smell the busy streets of my hometown and I wanted to visit my old house. I planned a trip that was cancelled. I invented new words. I got confused. I wrote an essay, but I didn’t finish it. I prayed and there was someone listening to me.
I am ready for 2009.
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